I was 7 when she was born.. Mum called her Dominique, which was a unusual name in the 70’s.. I was so happy to get a sister and used to push her everywhere in her pram, I was a mini mum.. I must have been about 9 years old, it was a usual day, I put her in her pushchair and took her up to the park with was about a quarter of a mile down the road, crazy that I had so much responsibility! But that’s how it was older children looking after younger children. We got to the park on the swings was a girl called Catherine, she also had a little sister, she was being unkind saying, that my sister looked like a boy (she had her hair cut really short) I remember feeling really sad and protective.. We went of to play and I let Dominique out of her pram, it all happened so fast, yet in slow motion, Dominique ran in front of Catherine’s swing, Catherine hit her with such force it broke her leg. My sister landed some distance away I ran over to her, she was covered in blood and not making a sound, I can only describe her as broken like a little rag doll, I got her pram put her in it and ran all the way home.. The fear was my first real experience of terror. The next bits are a bit of a blur, my mum screaming, someone running up the phone box to call an ambulance. She was in intensive care, then later on a ward she spent weeks in hospital, we used to get the bus there every day, everytime we left she cried her eyes out with pure devastation. My mum was very quiet during these times.. My sister had broken bones in her face, she still has the scar above her eye now.
We were close up until she was 7 and I was 14 we had to share a room.. I really did not like her at all, she was beyond annoying, but I still used to do her hair, she has the most amazing hair really thick and when she was little it had streaks of dark blond through it.
When I had my son Chanse at 19, she had to give up her bedroom for me as I had returned home, this was for a whole year, it was all about me but this must have been hard as she had to sleep in my mums room.
As she became a teenager, she used to come around my flat, she became less annoying, but her favourite word was I’m bored.. She would babysit for me, she was 14 years old on my 21st birthday, when me and my friends dressed her up and took her nightclubbing.. She loved it.. She was not like me I was a thinker a worrier, she was much less complex.
Over the next 20 years I had my others sons and she had a daughter.. We were close and spent most of out time together taking the kids on days out, it is thanks to her that I was able to cope as she looked after my boys a lot, later I looked after Her daughter while she worked, we helped each other like families do. Out kids were like sister and brothers rather than cousins.. She really helped me through my divorce, I helped her when she left home to go to her first flat, decorating, helping emotionally, we were there for each other even though we were totally different people we were the same if you know what I mean, it’s a family knowing.
When I got married and the kids were no longer wanting to go on days out, we saw less of each other, but we still didn’t let to much time pass before we spoke or met up, when we did we always got on and said we should do this more..
when our brother got ill last year.. We were both there for him and each other, there’s no way we could of coped without each other. We both loved him so much..
What happened next can only be described as a nightmare, not only did our brother die we fell out we lost each other and our beloved brother all in one week.
I could say she did this, she did that… But deep down I think the tragedy was that we were both in shock and it brought out the aggression in her and the sensitive in me.. We went to war, it’s the saddest situation ever, sometimes the only way to fix is for time to pass, to soften the edges of the nightmare that we both put ourselves and each other through, maybe we had to take it out on each other because of how angry we were that our brother could die so young and in so much distress..
I never thought I would be that person who fell out with my sister, no matter what we would always be there for each other all I can do is hope in time we can find our way back…